I’m a damn good waiter. I’m attentive, have a great memory, and can talk for hours about the extensive menu. In no way do I intend to stay in the industry for very much longer, but it’s a great paying summer job. The toughest part about the job, really, is putting up with customers. I’m not anti-social. I’m not condescending or inconsiderate. I just can’t wrap my head around some of the conversations I’m forced to have.

Customer #1: I’d like an Iced Coffee.

Me: Sure, not a problem. I’ll be right back with that.

Customer #1: (When I return) - There are ice cubes in here. I don’t want ice cubes.

Me: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you asked for Iced Coffee.

Customer #1: Well, yes, but not with ice in it. Who gets ice in their coffee?

Me: *Blank stare*….. Can I do anything else for you then ma’m?

Customer #1: You can take these ice cubes out.

Me: Sure, let me just go get you a new cup.

Customer #1: Can’t you just do it here? You just have to take a spoon or something and lob them out…

Me: We don’t….do that here… *Sigh*

Later in the day…

Customer #2: Do you have anything like a hamburger here?

Me: Unfortunately we don’t serve hamburgers, but we do serve an Antelope Cheeseburger which is very similar. It tastes a little sweeter than beef and it’s not very gamy.

Customer #2: But what is it made out of, pork…or beef?

Me: No, it’s Antelope.

Customer #2: So is that venison or something?

Customer #2: Ma’m, no, Antelope is an animal. It’s…just a separate animal.

Customer #3 (sitting next t Customer #2): It’s like a gazelle, or an elk or something.

Customer #2: It’s got to be really gamy, then, right? Where do they come from, Africa?

Me: No, it’s not gamy at all. And our Antelope is domestic and comes from out west – it’s all free range.

Customer #2: Oh, there’s so much going on in Africa and Iraq right now – who knows where that elk has been. I’ll just have the Cobb Salad.

If you’re a fellow server and need to satisfy some of your pent up customer induced rage, visit the Waiter Rant website. I borrowed their name for this post, and I have to admit, sometimes I wonder if he has it worse than I do…

I’m a pretty smart kid. I get a lot of complex humor and can pretty much hold my own in classic literature or advanced biology…but want to know one thing I didn’t understand? The latest New Yorker cover. It depicts Barack Obama and Michelle Obama in the Oval Office, burning an American flag being overlooked by a framed picture of Osama bin Laden. There are, of course, other lampoons in the picture, as you can see here.

But here’s the thing…it wasn’t funny. In fact, I had to do a double take and look at the cover again. I had to do a little research to realize they were making fun of the misconceptions about Obama and not falling privy to the same biases these fake e-mail circulations would have one believe.

As Sen. Obama said, “I know it was the New Yorker’s attempt at satire. I don’t think they were entirely successful with it. But you know what? It’s a cartoon, and that’s why we’ve got the First Amendment.” I’m not debating their right to print it - God knows worse things are. Regardless, a liberal magazine like the New Yorker should have known that the vast majority of citizens that believe these ludicrous stereotypes don’t read the New Yorker nor understand their humor. Again, as both presidential candidates have reiterated over and over again - it’s just fueling more misconceptions about Obama opposed to actually being something to laugh at. Maybe in retrospect, all the publicity about the controversy will in fact help the cover achieve what it intended to. In any case, the New Yorker couldn’t have been banking on that one…

I’m a music fiend. I’ve got a few thousand songs on my iPod, and I’m going to have to upgrade from my 30 gig to an 80 within the next month or so, considering that I’ve been methodically deleting songs to make room for more. And, while I could tell you every song on there by name, only a select few have been distinguished as my staples - songs I just can’t live without. Some of these include Matchbox Twenty’s acoustic “Push”, U2’s “One”, and the Goo Goo Doll’s “Big Machine”, among others. Every so often, a new song comes along that will just redefine my appreciation for music; and I found one this week.

It’s John Mayer’s cover of Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’”. It’s off his latest live album; Where The Light Is – John Mayer Live in Los Angeles. The song is just incredible, and it was the first time Petty’s lyrics really made sense to me. Listening to Mayer on the guitar is simply amazing, and this is certainly one of his defining moments as an artist.

Buy the CD here, or even the full DVD of the concert. You’ll thank me later.

Seriously? I’ve been waiting since November for a new backwards-compatible update from the folks at Microsoft and Xbox 360. I can’t keep playing these new, graphically enhanced games - I want some old-school From Russia with Love and X-Men Legends to fool around with. I’ve got a serious amount of my designated “time to waste” (which equates to say, 13-17 minutes a day) devoted to playing mindless video games, and re-playing Halo 3 on legendary for the 4th time just isn’t cutting it. So, Xbox, step up your game (ha, pun…) and get me my updates! Just because Bill Gates isn’t around all the time doesn’t mean you can just slack off…

Don’t worry, Mr. Bond.

You’ll find your pixelated self in my hands once again…someday….

I just got back from the first (RED) U Ambassador training in Los Angeles, California, and it was awesome. Tamsin Smith, the President of Product (RED), actually wrote up a great blog post already, but this is my own account. I’d love to go into talking about my brush with model Marissa Miller, or even the most jaded shuttle driver ever (“You know what people in LA do on their weekends? First, they go wash their cars, then, they CUT OFF US SHUTTLE DRIVERS!”) – but first, I’ll practice my “elevator speech” about (RED) and The Global Fund.

(RED) is a brand created by Bono and Bobby Shriver to eliminate AIDS in Africa. What we do is partner with major companies like GAP, Apple, Dell, Windows, Armani, Motorola, Hallmark, Converse, American Express and others to produce special products with the (RED) label. When those products sell, the companies donate a portion of their profits directly to the Global Fund, a UN non-profit, which is then used to fight AIDS in Africa. Pretty cool, huh?

So, back to the training. They flew me and the 5 other interns out to LA, and we spent a few days at their offices in Santa Monica. Besides walking around and seeing the (RED) product line up close, we also got to meet with a lot of the (RED) team and talk about our ides. We also started talking about ideas on how to turn our campuses (RED), so if you go to Sacred Heart, be prepared. (RED) is the new ONE as far as I’m concerned – it’s going to be everywhere.

Unfortunately Bobby, who is a long-time hero and role model of mine, was off travelling…but I hope our paths cross soon!

So, what’s the real question here? I want you to shop (RED) every chance you get. Whether it’s a new pair of Converse shoes (that you can design yourself) or an Apple iPod Shuffle, remember to buy (RED). That’s the beauty of our business model. Number one, we WANT the companies to make profits. That’s what keeps consumers buying these high-quality products, and the retailers remain motivated to keep them in stock. Second, it doesn’t cost you anything extra to buy (RED). For example, an iPod nano is $199 in an Apple store. Whether you buy a Product (RED) one or a white, blue, green, or black one, they are all the same price. The only difference is that with one of them, you legitimately save a life. Don’t say no to something like that.

Want more updates on Product (RED) endeavors? Join the mailing list at www.joinred.com. I’ll also be posting a separate Blog (for many different reasons) about (RED) happenings at SHU – the link will be posted here when I have it up and running.

Anyone read this yet? James Dobson, a prominent Christian evangelical leader, has criticized Sen. Barack Obama for speaking freely about his religious views and government to another liberal Christian group. Obama questioned in his speech, much like Martin Sheen’s season 1 rant on the West Wing, the validity of religion in government.

“Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?”(CNN)

Thanks, Mr. Obama, for that insightful interpretation of the Bible. While many may not agree with your views, they are in fact your own and should be left to individuals to decide if they agree or disagree. Let’s turn to a nationally renowned spiritual leader. I’m sure he has something insightful, articulate, and non-inflammatory to say about the remarks.

“I think he’s deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology,” Dobson said, adding that Obama is “dragging biblical understanding through the gutter.”

Oops. I guess not. You know who else is deliberately distorting their understanding of the Bible to fit their own world views? Evangelicals. By interpreting what you believe in and what you do not from your spiritual text of choice sort of invalidates the whole basis for argument, don’t you think? For being a group of loving Christians, I find it hard to believe that they have the nerve to so frequently and radically criticize others. In all fairness, Dobson did say that Obama referencing “out-dated” material from the Old Testament, which evangelicals don’t put a lot of stock in. The New Testament is what they primarily reference, which I guess is here nor there. What I do find odd is the inclusion of the Old Testament in the Evangelical Bibles. If it is so “outdated” and “impractical”, why is it included? Dobson went on to say:

“Am I required in a democracy to conform my efforts in the political arena to his bloody notion of what is right with regard to the lives of tiny babies?” he asked. “What he’s trying to say here is, unless everybody agrees, we have no right to fight for what we believe. What the senator is saying there, in essence, is that ‘I can’t seek to pass legislation, for example, that bans partial-birth abortion, because there are people in the culture who don’t see that as a moral issue. And if I can’t get everyone to agree with me, than it is undemocratic to try to pass legislation that I find offensive to the Scripture. Now, that is a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution.”

False, Mr.Dobson. What the Senator means is that if the majority can’t decide on a concrete outcome, there is clearly more left to debate between unbiased thinkers with the best outcome in mind. By keeping these ideals in mind, we are PRESERVING the ability to fight for what we believe in. Mr. Dobson, you’re acting ridiculous, and once again you’ve chosen to deliberately distort. Sen. Obama’s words. Wasn’t that what you just accused him of doing? I just can’t see how this could possibly be considered a rational argument by anyone’s standards.

Now, I’m not saying that evangelical beliefs or any other sort of religion are good or bad. There are enough flaws in every religion and I’m not one to point fingers. I’m not going to even bring up the freedom of religion argument, and I’m not avoiding the Rev. Wright controversy – all I’m saying is that any religion that teaches intolerance isn’t a religion at all. And with that said, I’m not sure I’d be inclined to put a whole lot of stock into someone who tries to get their point across by calling Presidential candidates “fruitcakes.”

Read the full article here. Keep an open mind, folks.

It’s been a long time coming, but I’ve decided it’s the right thing to do. I can’t continue living a lie…this is America, right? You don’t have to hide who you really are. It’s true. I’m…a Democrat.

Let’s face it. I haven’t exactly been hiding my political activism, and however amateurish it may be, I’ve been reading up. Growing up in a largely Republican environment has definitely influenced me, and not in any particularly positive or negative way. Not to say that Democrats aren’t patriotic, but Republicans just love to show it, and so do I. But other than that, I’m not sure why else I “was” a Republican. Before I go on, I’ll also say that I hate being labeled and lumped into groups and judged because of it - that’s not what this is all about. It’s standing up for issues, not just candidates or parties. And, in a round-about way, because of this I’ve chosen who I’m supporting for the 2008 election. I don’t want to seem biased, so if you need a refresher on Obama and McCain, check out these positive, 3rd party videos from GOOD about them:

Like the videos? I thought so. After a lot of searching and considerations, I began to realize that Obama, like the Democratic party in general, stands for the issues that I’ve been following. Free trade agreements, economic reform, renewable energy, poverty relief, affordable education, universal health care coverage…these aren’t small issues. Changes have to come sooner than later, and many don’t have a lot of time to wait around for it. Obama also just announced that he’s not going to be accepting any publicly financed donations - so this election could be truly funded solely by the American people in the private sector. So, for these reasons and many others, in November I’m voting for Barack Obama to be the 44th President of the United States.

I would encourage anyone still unsure about the candidates to go through their websites - don’t just make an uneducated decision. If you’re not registered to vote yet, click here to register with Rock the Vote. If you’d like to get a free Obama Campaign bumper sticker, just visit MoveOn.org - they’re a political action group that is doing (some) good things.

Finally, I just want to patronize GOOD one more time for making those great videos and keeping up with their positive message. Not only is GOOD a great magazine/news source, but 100% of your subscription goes directly to the non-profit partner of your choice. Check it out!

And don’t forget to vote!!!

It’s that time of the month again. You know, that roughly one-week long period where I check the mailbox every day for the new issue of MAXIM. Today was the day my efforts paid off, and I started to eagerly leaf through the pages of the most hysterical edition I’ve seen in a while. Yet, something made me stop…

Excerpt from MAXIM Magazine…

Forbidden Flavors: Order a side of danger with these recently legalized and soon to be verboten foods and spirits.

1. Zubrowka

a. Controversy: Bison grass vodka (zubrowka) is infused with blades indigenous to the primeval forest of Poland and Belarus. Legend has it the wild buffalo roaming the woods grow horny after eating the stuff. The buzz kills at the ATF broke up the party in the late ‘70s after discovering the vodka contains coumarin, a blood thinner.

b. Taboo Taste: The new zubrowka, legalized in late 2007, nixes the anticoagulant and still has an earthy vanilla taste.

So, here’s the thing. While reading the article, I looked at the bottle in the picture. A nice little brown bison was printed on the label right below big green lettering that says “Zubrowka”. And that got me thinking. Where have I seen that bottle before?

Flash-back about 6 years ago. I used to LOVE going to the Flea Market in the center of Woodbury every Saturday morning. My friends and I would grab our bikes and ride down the 4 miles to the bustling market place. It was totally a regressed society of bartering and arguing over knick-knacks, and we loved it. This was also about the same time I started selling everything, and I mean everything, on eBay. I would scrounge for old looking things and buy them up cheap, selling them for a profit (since, you know, being in 8^th grade you need tons of spending money…).

So this one day, I bought a big old pile of crap and didn’t bother to go through all of it right away since I got such a good deal on it. I rode home carrying this giant tattered shoe-box and emptied the contents on the floor of my bedroom. Imagine my surprise when between all the stuff I was definitely contracting syphilis from I found a nice little shot bottle of Vodka. Being as young as I was, I had no concept of what alcohol really did or any desire to consume it. Even then, I knew the stuff was wicked old, and knew I couldn’t sell alcohol on eBay (especially underage). I thought it was especially weird, since it had this little cinnamon colored stick floating in it…so, I just threw it in my “junk drawer” and forgot about it. Until now.

Sure enough, after reading this wonderful article, and rifling back through my drawers, I found it, and guess what? It’s identical. There’s no bottling or expiration date, so I can’t be sure just how old it is…but the yellowing label (and subsequent contents) aren’t very encouraging. I’ve had the bottle much longer than 2007 (when it was legal in the US), so good job customs…way to do your job. Let’s just hope the FDA doesn’t storm into my house and confiscate it….it’ll be two more years until I can legally drink this stuff, and who wouldn’t want to consume something that gets you drunk AND thins your blood? Not this guy…

I decided it was time I chronicled a bit of my trip to La Ceiba. There’s simply too much for me to go through and account day by day, but I’ll do my best to sum up the highlights. First, watch the video below, since the boys are what the trip was all about. The project is called The Children of the Light, and their mission is to provide hope and love to the homeless children of Honduras. I created the video, so enjoy!

First, our trip wasn’t without some…er…fumbles. One of my friends had her cell phone SIM card get stolen, and my other friend lost her passport, if only for a few excruciating hours. You can only imagine how thrilled we were when the passport turned up with the help of a few honest security guards, but they’re still investigating the $7,000 worth of international calls from Central America to Louisiana…

Anyway. The best part of Honduras? Well, besides spending days and days with the boys, I’d have to say going to the river. The river, well, is more like a tropical paradise. Given, we WERE in Honduras (about as tropical as it gets), but this place was gorgeous. Even better, it was virtually hidden from the public, had giant waterfalls and lagoons, and rocks you could jump off of into the clear blue water below. Amazing.

There were lots of other good parts to the trip too. I tried my hardest to see Indiana Jones while I was down there, but the theater wasn’t playing it at the right times, so we ended up seeing Prince Caspian. It was actually in English, with Spanish subtitles, so we enjoyed it a lot. (I did end up seeing Indy once I got home, and for the record, both films were some of the best I’ve seen in a while, so go check them out).

So, originally I figured I’d write more than what I just did…but now I’m bored and I’m going to go read. Possibly more updates to come later…I might allude to other stories in future posts. Good times.

No, I’m not talking about that amazing animated Dinosaur movie….I’m back from Honduras. And while the trip was incredible, I’ll keep my stories brief. In the next few days, I’ll be posting some info about the project (Children of the Light), as well as my new video (once it’s completed.) If you’d like to find out more information about the 23 amazing boys that live there now, please check out www.thechildrenofthelight.org, or even visit the blog we set up for them at www.thechildrenofthelight.wordpress.com.

So, in the meantime, let’s rant about my grandmother. Don’t get me wrong - she’s the sweetest lady I’ve ever met and I absolutely love her to death. The thing is…she’s an addict. We’re not talking drugs or alcohol, or even gambling. We’re talking the internet.

That’s right. The internet. This stupid place. Now, I guess it’s come as sort of a ritual for many of us to check our emails, go on eBay or Facebook, and go on with our days. Long gone are the days we actually clicked the banner ads on website pages or actually forwarded an annoying chain email letter. Well, not for my grandma. She’s completely obsessed, and my inbox is spammed each day by 700 different jokes and coupons that will save me 20% online at AllPosters.com

Anyway, moral of the story, it’s a mistake to put technology into the hands of people who should have learned how to use it in the 90’s like the rest of us. Snooze, you lose.