The Art of Selflessness

Selflessness is just that; an art. It takes a lot to attain and is unique to each individual. The following is my ruminations on the post “Selflessness for the Self”, in which I’m glad to say sparked my interest. While my ideas are certainly stated differently, I don’t know if they necessarily prove or disprove anything stated in the other post. So in case you were wondering, this wasn’t just a random thought – it’s been marinating for a while in my head.

Love of one’s self doesn’t necessarily constitute narcissism. I’d agree that before you can love others, you have to love yourself. But being content with your own constitution is far different than just indulging in activity for personal gain.

I’ll elaborate on a more personal level. I like myself. A lot. Is that conceited? Absolutely not. I like the things I do, the way I think, and the people I surround myself with. Why would anyone want anything less? I’m not wholly content with the world, and I don’t seclude myself from those that are different than myself in some petty attempt at self preservation. I like heated argument and reevaluating myself and my ideas. But with that said, I’m not discontent with myself by any means, and I think it would take a lot for me to become jaded to the point I thought differently.

I like volunteering. It’s actually amazing (to me, at least), that I can do much more when I’m working for free opposed to being paid for something. I attribute that to the “do good, feel good” mindset. Still, I help others because it’s the right thing to do. I love myself, so I can love others - agreed– but not to further the love of myself. I think that to an extent, you hit a plateau once you become content with “who you are”. The sooner one accepts that, the sooner they can turn their focus to others. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve figured myself out, so I can go out and do good works without concern for myself. However, I think there is a higher sort of paradox going on here. I think I’d stop loving myself if I stopped loving others – so although it’s the inverse of the initial claim that one can’t do good without knowingly elevating themselves, I can see the merit in that mindset, too.

So ultimately, back to the real question – does selflessness exist? Yes. It takes a lot to attain, and I’m not saying I personally am at that level, but it’s a realistic and attainable goal. One can certainly be selfless – acting for the good of others opposed to their own well being. We see some form of it every day – those who work gladly and without complaint – for the furthering of a higher purpose. A soldier that dives on top of a grenade to save the rest of his unit, a mother that stays up all night to calm her crying child, a kid that gives up a seat on the bus for an elderly person. Even if the end results in a “feel good” high, many of us do it out of our basic humanity. That is, we do it without “thinking” - we just “feel” it. Like the old saying – usually the right thing and the hard thing are the same.

I’m oversimplifying, but in the end, I’d much rather love myself than the alternative. After all, we all strive to do what makes us happy opposed to that which makes us discontent, and why would we ever want that to change?